On Yentl and the Endless Struggle Between the Body and the Brain

Several months ago, I rewatched the movie Yentl. Yes, the 1983 classic feminist Jewish musical starring Barbara Streisand and Mandy Patinkin. If you’re like most of my friends, you probably are vaguely familiar with the song “Papa, Can You Hear Me?” but haven’t actually watched the movie. It’s streaming somewhere and now you must watch it. I insist. For your enjoyment, you can watch it here for free: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhhenOwMXGw

The reason you must watch this movie is that it perfectly summarizes the endless struggle between a woman being forced to choose between her body and her brain. It will murder your soul.

The story goes as follows: Yentl is an incredibly smart woman from a small town in Poland at the turn of the 20th century, who just wants to read books. Because it is the turn of the century, women are forbidden from reading the Torah, which is still very much a thing in certain Jewish communities — women weren’t even allowed to have a bat mitzvah until 1922. My own 93-year-old grandmother didn’t have one until she was well into her forties.

Everyone in her town won’t stop nagging her that she’s a woman and as a result, she is expected to make babies and food, take care of men and enjoy pretty picture books. To be seen and not heard. How boring.

She gets it. She just doesn’t really care. She was already trained to be a be doting, subservient woman, so none of this is news to her. She just keeps reading books and thinks, “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever, I’m just reading.”

Because she is already unwed, relegated to a life of cooking, taking care of her father, and knows that her opinions and contributions to her local community are undervalued, reading is essentially the only thing that really brings her joy. It’s just that it’s forbidden because she didn’t choose to be born a woman. It happened. Baby, she was born that way—just like Lady Gaga!

The other women begin passive aggressively resenting Yentl for thinking she’s better than them to violate the rules, while the men are threatened by the fact she doesn’t really respect the rules they have created for her.

Fuck the rules, she just wants to read and think about deeper truths of life. You know, because she’s a human being with thoughts and feelings, and books are helpful for that. As a result, she spends most of her time casually lying to get books, while she picks up groceries, smiling and saying the books are for her father. “Who, me?” This is acceptable to everyone. She plays along.

While her father is cool with her rebellious need to read and encourages it as a beautiful family friendly activity, he is undeniably old and this ruse can’t last forever. She actually doesn’t mind taking care of her father, she loves him. It’s just that she wants to read, too, and she won’t be able to do that anymore once she gets married. Who knows what the next guy is going to do when he finds out she’s been this wildly brilliant woman! It’s reprehensible!

When he suddenly passes away, it turns her world upside down. Suddenly she’s faced with a decision: the choice between her body and her brain. Choose the female body and become a wife as it is expected, or choose the brain to continue to exist freely in your mind. Sound familiar?

She’s got plenty of years ahead of her, so she chooses her brain: to keep reading books instead of becoming a baby machine. As a result, she assumes the identity of a young yeshiva boy, cutting off her long hair and throwing away her dresses that look like a Batsheva ad (I am 90% sure that is where that fashion house got the idea) and changing her name to Anshel. She ditches her shitty town filled with all the rule-following judgy people who never wanted her to live her dreams, hitchhiking to become an educated scholar, while getting treated by other men because she’s a nerdy femme boy.

While in school, she meets a handsome young colleague named Avigdor (played by an incredibly sexy and youthful Mandy Patinkin). It’s the first time a man engages with her on complex topics as an equal, making her drunk on intellectual stimulation and power. “Wow, I’m finally being heard! He’s actually listening to me and respects my opinions! A true tete-a-tete!” The chemistry is undeniable. They’re basically brain fucking.

But there’s a caveat: he doesn’t know she’s a woman. Even worse: he’s in love and engaged to a woman named Hadass. Bummer!

She’s forced to meet Hadass, who is subservient, dainty and beautiful. Patient and agreeable. Exactly the type of woman Yentl was trained to become and despises. Still, she gets the appeal. She enjoys the spoils of being served by another women and thinks, “Yeah, this is actually pretty nice. To be looked after like your mother is so comforting. But if I’m a woman, I’m doing that job and I’m not being looked after. I won’t get to read and have scholarly debates anymore.” She just sees the deadness in her eyes. It’s fucking insufferable.

Suddenly, Avigdor confesses he’s in trouble and he needs her help. He lied about his brother’s death — hiding that his brother committed suicide, and not died of consumption—which means the wedding is called off. Hadass’s family assumes something must be wrong with Avigdor’s family and she’s essentially a commodity trade as property. But there’s a proposed solution: “Hey, Anshel. Why don’t you marry her?” Wow. What a slap in the face.

Because they’re “friends” a.k.a. Yentl is in love with him, she bends over backwards to make things better for Avigdor and agrees to marry this chick. Yentl/Anshel doesn’t want to consummate the marriage for obvious reasons, making up an elaborate lie as to some vague law in the Talmud knowing she’s illiterate and she’ll just accept the rationale. They’re basically roommates.

She decides that while she’s at it, she might as well educate Hadass. Unsurprisingly, the idea of thinking for herself for the very first time is enthralling to Hadass. As a result of respecting her for her mind and her body, Avigdor’s betrothed is now falling in love with her new husband, Yentl—who is still in love with Avigdor. Dramarama!

She knows she’s living a lie, but can’t decide if the real world is better or not. Are her lies hurting people? Is it hurting herself? Why won’t society just let her have her body and her brain? She thinks, if I was a woman, he could have me. But would he still want me? Or would I have to become this bitch now?

The love triangle isn’t between the three of them, it’s an existential dilemma about the struggle between a woman needing to decide what she wants to give up for happiness: her body or her brain in global society that still places men above women instead of as their equals based on antiquated texts that assume masculinity is one role and femininity is another, nary the t’wain shall meet.

Even when you “have it all,” you don’t. You must always choose. Avigdor does not have to choose. And even if he wanted to, it would be different kind of choice that he would be relentlessly persecuted for.

Eventually, Yentl reveals herself to Avigdor by showing her breasts. He’s angry she lied, but they kiss and suggests they get married. She is suddenly presented with the choice again: her body or her brain. Will Avigdor help her with the dishes, or will be become Hadass, serving him? Her heart or her mind? Her womb or her spirituality? If she chooses Avigdor, she must become Hadass and can no longer study. It’s like a job application for the rest of her life.

Ultimately, Yentl chooses her brain. Avigdor chooses a wife. She moves to the United States to become a free woman, which is allegedly a tidbit Streisand changed from the original. (I love her so much).

Even in 2020, those who exist outside the rules of society still have to make that choice. Are you crazy, sexy or cool? Madonna or a whore? Book smart or stupid? It is a rare person that can recognize the gray area where more than one thing can be true at once. When I think of evolved humans, it’s the ones who understand that.

The parts of society that still demand classic gender roles expect that women should be patient, understanding and doting. To be a mom. Even in the workplace, where women are still expected to go above and beyond their male colleagues to prove their worth — which is still less valuable as a result of existing in a world without an Equal Rights Amendment in place to ensure fair equity.

Whether or not you believe in your own autonomy, ultimately casual dating becomes a constant struggle between the body and the brain. You try to sort out if a man can love you for your body or your brain, so you grapple with which one to give him first.

I chose to give away my body, but I always chose my brain; my heart became the impenetrable wall that only the most intelligent man could have if he allowed me to claim him. I loved every man who respected me and my right to choose. That is the mark of an honorable man, and the man I respect. Which is why I respect their right to not choose me back. If we respect each other’s choices in hopes of finding a balance where men can play a supportive role without judgment and women can take the lead, or women can choose to stay home—that is the balance of true equality.

All things considered, I believe I am lucky to live in a place that still fights for that right, and I fight for all women because until women of all colors are free, then we are all oppressed. Including the LGBTQIA+ communities, because lesbians and trans men often receive the least amount of consideration.

I knew that to be a “respectable” woman, one cannot be promiscuous. She must be an agreeable woman. Which is bullshit. Just like Yentl, you start becoming angry as to why her mind is valuable as an equal in Yeshiva, but at home, she needs to be a subservient wife. Why there needs to be a separation between the body, heart and mind, instead of an incredible appreciation for all three? A perfectly sexy, confident, self-loving, and smart woman who can choose to dress as she sees fit. To embrace her masculine and feminine. To be more than enough and worth fighting for. I think every person wants to feel that way, and yet so many are afraid to ask.

I wanted to be the one who got to choose, just like they did. I wanted them to let me claim them because I knew I deserved respect because my body and brain were both worth loving. Those are the men I have loved the most, and the women who understood. The ones who have devastated me are the ones where I loved their minds and their hearts, and when I revealed my own, it felt like a prize to be won.

You start trying to compare yourself or think about where things went wrong, and then wonder if it would have mattered. Do you want to become Hadass or Yentl? Why couldn’t Yentl and Avigdor just find a good compromise where they can both take care of the dishes, make love, and read together? Or maybe Hadass was there first, and it’s up to Avigdor to choose, and he still chose Yentl. Maybe Hadass and Yentl want to choose each other, or they bring in another man who thinks like them. Why does what happens in their home impact the rest of the world? Isn’t that the point of Yeshiva and other level of higher intellectual and spiritual thinking? I think that’s what most evolved humans want in an equal partnership.

The biggest thing I got from watching Yentl was that Hadass and Yentl actually wanted the same thing: love and freedom. It was just that Yentl figured it out first and sought her own. Hadass didn’t even know it was an option until it was presented to her. She just said, “Fuck the rules. I’m not asking permission.” It was her life and society be damned. She knew in her heart everything she was willing to give up. It was survival and instinctual.

When I think about where society is now, I know that there will always be evolved and unevolved thinkers. Those that cling to the rules and resent those who break them. Those who bend the rules because it’s important to do so. And those who break them without regard for others. Yentl was being hurt by the rules and those rules were hurting other women. I feel grateful for the ones who consistently present other ways of thinking and loving. Some women will be become Yentl and others will become Hadass, but I still believe that there are some who can be both, because that is a woman’s right to choose.